It's almost here ...

Christmas that is!

Actually getting excited this year! When Mark spoke to me and in effect cured my Scroogeness, he did a great job! Guess I've realised that I actually have a whole lot to celebrate. Man, this Christmas is so different to last Christmas. For one, a lot less heartache and tears! Things have settled a little more at home, and living in Scotland is normal again, and I'm totally content in that. Where I am in life is so different now too. So many of my friends have now gotten married, and I can rejoice whole-heartidly in that. I've started uni, and am surviving, though have tons to do. Relationship wise, friendships have changed and grown stronger, then of course there's Stewart. Yeah, things are good this Christmas and there are many reasons to rejoice.

That's what the shepheards did when they encountered Jesus. And the wise men. Plus there was Mary and Joseph's reactions. Guess in all the comercialism and all the other stuff that comes with Christmas that's the key thing to remember. It's all about Jesus!

Nothing new in that thought, but one worth pondering again. When these people met Jesus, even as a tiny baby, they were radically and totally transformed. Their lives were turned upside down, inside out and back to front (as Gav would say). And I have encountered that same Jesus. The tiny baby born in a stable, where no-one took much notice. The boy, wise beyond His years. The man, gentle yet strong, accepting yet confronting. The Saviour, hanging on a tree, beaten and bruised for my freedom and life. The Risen One, full of hope, life, love and promise. That Jesus. That wonderful Jesus.

And my response is like that of the shepheards:

'[They went] praising God and thanking him for everything they had seen and heard.'

Luke 3v20 (NCV)

Praising God for everything they had seen and heard, they didn't just retain a passing interest, it was a pertinent, possessive interest, consuming them so they were never the same again. I come to Christmas this year, praising God with all my being for all I have seen and heard Him do!

"My soul praises the Lord;

my heart rejoices in God my Savious,

because he has shown his concern

for this humble servant girl.

From now on, all people will say that I am blessed,

because the Powerful One has

done great things for me.

His name is Holy.

God will show his mercy forever and ever

to those who worship and serve him.

He has done mighty deeds by his power..."

Luke 1v46(b)-51(a)

It is finished

It is finished ... well at least the teaching part. I have now officially completed all the teaching sessions for my first semester at uni. Now all I need to do is a million and one assignements and things for exam revision it feels like ... but I'm getting there. The first part is complete.

Looking forward to Christmas now I'm cured of my scroogeness. Will be a wonderful time. Really excited about Erin, Katie and Josh coming over too. It will be so good just to spend time with them hanging out. Sharing Scotland with them will also help me see it again in new ways too, with a new freshness.

As well as all the uni assessment stuff to do over Christmas really need to get down to writing all the stuff for going back to Warm Springs. Have some of it in my head just now - it just needs to come out. Thoughts so far:

Intro session / Session one: Livin' Loud (theme), 1 Timothy 4:12 (text), story / narrative (preaching style)
Session 2: Speech (theme), James chapters 3-4; 5:12 (texts), teaching (preaching style)
Session 3: Life (theme), Micah 6:1-8 (text), interactive / doing - using World Trade Game as well as Pink song in session (preaching style)
Session 4: Love (theme), 1 John 3 / 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (texts), experiencial (preaching style)
Session 5: Faith (theme), Mark 5:21-43 (text), narrative / experiencial / doing (preaching style)
Session 6: Purity (theme), text undecided as well as preaching style
Session 7 / final session: Surrender (theme), Isaiah 53 (text), experiential / doing (preaching style) - session will also include communion and commissioning out again.

As well as doing it thematically, which I'm not sure now was maybe the best way of working, I'm also going to experiment with different sermon preaching styles which should be interesting. Aim is to have the intro session, session 3 and session 5 written by the New Year. The final session is already written. Going to be an interesting journey and adventure.

Better go now though, and have fun with some Mark commentaries for my sermon assessment ... looking at Jesus calming the storm, not what I'm going to be doing in Warm Springs. Is great getting to grips with a passage and asking God what He might want to say out of it now ... lovign it!

Advent challenge ...

Ok, so I'm the biggest Christmas scrooge, I admit it ... well I was.

That was until I was challenged by Mark yesterday ... he said he used to be like that until someone asked him who should be the one with the most to celebrate. The answer of course is me! Jesus was born at Christmas time ... for me! Jesus came to earth ... for me! Jesus was God incarnate ... for me! Jesus became the Saviour ... for me! So who should have the most to celebrate at Christmas ... me!

Thought stayed in my mind last night as I spent time with Stewart and his family. They are all so close and loving, and I realised that that kind of thing should make me even more thankful. Funny that, love changes things. And seeing real love in action as well as word began to errode at the part of me that rebels against Christmas - not because I don't believe in what it means, but because I dislike what it's come to mean. But in disliking it I'm adding to the problem, and not really reflecting it's true meaning.

Love. Love from God in the form of a baby boy, who would grow up and treat people with love and compassion. Who would bring me closer to God in word, and show me the love of God in deed. Who, in all that He was, and is, and will be, is love.

Today, Jim reminded us in prayers that, yes, the picture may be bleak, but thats not the end - 'aye, thats wit ye think!' And as I left for coffee and a mince pie (thank you Father for the person who delivered them to the common room!), I found myself singing 'Oh come, oh come, Immanuel ...' and truely meaning it - without it being Christmas Eve in a dimly lit church.

So, do I have the right to be a Christmas scrooge? Not anymore! After all, I have so much to celebrate!

"His name will be wonderful
Counselor, Powerful God,
Father Who Lives Forever, Prince of Peace.
Power and peace will be in his kingdom
and will continue to grow forever.
He will rule as King on David's throne
and over David's kingdom.
He will make it strong
by ruling with justice and goodness
from now on and forever.
The Lord All-Powerful will do this
because of his strong love for his people."
Isaiah 9v6(b)-7 (NCV)

Feeling better ...

Had a good few days which I think is noteworthy!

Been feeling pants with relations to God for quite a little while. Came to a head this weekend for various reasons, and though I'm still working through some of that with Him, things are definately improving. Think God helped me see that He can be silent and thats ok. Also think He helped me see that He loves me still in what I see as my unlovely state.

Song from this weekend's services at church that reflect that:

Majesty (Here I Am)

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Written by Stu Garrard/Martin Smith ©2003 Curious? Music UK
Taken from the World Service album

Isn't is great how music stirs and moves the soul. There is definately something in music that goes deep with me ... I feel ... I experience ... I am changed when I listen to music. It's both what is played and what is sung though that has the effect, they are both needed. Lines like: 'here I am, knowing that I'm Your desire, sanctified by glory and fire.' How emotive! Or 'Your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in Your hands.' Even just singing 'Majesty'!

So thank You Father that You are moving in me and taking me from where I was. It has been so lonely and empty and silent. Thank You that Your grace has found me right in that place. Thank You that I can be alive again in You. Thank You that I have been, am now and will always be Your desire. You are my desire too!

The glad game ...

As usual work was a nightmare today. Jaw still sore, and all the talking and smiling I had to do made it worse ... which some just found funny ... think people like the idea of me not being able to talk much!

When I lived with Liz and co in Essex we used to play this game from a film ... foget the name right now ... but was called "the Glad Game". I would get the kids from the school bus, we would come home, Liz would have made hot chocolate, we would play the penguin eating challenge, and tell about the bits of the day we had to be glad about. Was really helpful on lots of days, took the focus off the negative and put it on the positive.

If I were playing it with them today this would be my contribution:

• Crawford (my fav old man) came in with his wife today. Always really encouraging to see them. Was chatting with the wifie (so bad that I do not know her name!) for quite a while. She was commenting on how I am not in as much, so I told her what I was doing. She thinks I will be a great church and schools youth worker - was so encouraging in her comments!
• There is another older couple who used to come in a lot, and I got quite close to the wife. She popped in today too, wanting to know when I was working so she could come and get something to eat and catch up with me. Not seen her in ages, and was missing her. Hopefully she will come in again soon and we can catch up properly ... she was even asking after Stewart which was really sweet!

So there we go, my glad game contirbutions of today ... really does help you focus on the good and not the bad!