Freedom ...

Recently did a Steps to Freedom course with some people (always good to have a spiritual cleanup!), and it really was brilliant. Going to be able to use it with people now as well which is also cool. But been re'reading Captivating by John and Satsi Elderidge

They have a brilliant chapter on healing wounds ... well worth a read and possibly even using in ministry - especially with women.

Been great reading again, especially in relation to ideas they have on women being made in the image of God. I may not agree with it all, and some of it may be quite American etc, but it well worth reading. It's not hugely theological in the way my course books are ... but it is equally as thought provoking.

What kind of Christian am I?

I ask this question not in a condemning way, at least not necessarily, but in a 'need to examine myself and my attitudes again' kind of way. This has been the strangest week.

Last Thursday had our church business meeting and on the way there spotted a young boy sitting in a dangerous place by the side of the road. Mum and I drove past, but as we did I looked into his eyes. The look I saw made me ask to turn the car back around so I could get out and ask if he was ok. Turned out his sister had abandoned him with no money and no phone in a place he didn't know and so now he couldn't find his way home ... to Larkhall! So got him to the bus station only to discover no more buses and then phoned his uncle to arrange us to take him home. Good deed done? Well, yes in some ways, but not because I wanted to do a good deed but because it was the 'natural' thing to do. It was natural to help and care for someone.

Then the terror attempt in Glasgow and my Saturday night was spend with friends praying and talking in different ways. Two of them were meant to be leaving for Romania the next day on a mission and we waited to see how they were going to get to Luton and if in fact they would be able to go at all. When one friend heard she was driving the whole hugeness of what was going on took hold and she just burst into tears. Another night spend caring, not strangers, but my precious friends.

But then contrast that with work this week. My attitude has been one of not wanting to be there, of really wanting a new job ... and so the result? Less caring. In a place where I am known as a Christian working in a Christian shop where had my sunny attitude and compassion gone. Needed to ask God to help me get it back today - and so it's been a much better day ... despite all the burning myself and dropping things.

But what kind of Christian am I really? I know I have not always 'been myself' (what kind of a phrase is that!) the past few months, and I'm tired of it. In general though I think I'm just tired of lots of things. See now once again why time out is needed ... you think I'd learn!

So what kind of Christian am I? Not always the kind I'd like to be, but asking God to make me more like Him. I'm the tired kind, in need of some rest (but doing an SU camp instead - go figure!). But most of all I'm the kind of Christian who knows they are weak. I just pray that more and more in my weakness He becomes more and His strength lives in me more.