It never fails to amaze me that God speaks so powerfully. Or that some of what God speaks to me and shows me is for me to share with other people, so that He can speak to them through it too. Often despite my fear, doubt and sometimes the sheer craziness of the 'word' and the utter lack of knowledge of the other person. But God does speak. And (sometimes) I do hear.

Tonight was another example of that - Light and Life event in East Kilbride.

Thank You God that You do. Holy Spirit increase in me an ability to hear, Father open my eyes to 'see' more, Jesus speak Your words to me and through me. Amen

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2Timothy 1:7

Work ...

Still going around the same old mountians I realised today. Guess I'm going to keep going around the mountain until I learn what I need to learn and God does what He needs to do in my character and conduct. You think after 3 years I would be getting closer though ...

Whole gospel for the whole person ...

Margaret, the Village Centre Manager (amongst all the other things she does!), was excitedly re-casting vision almost at our QBM the other night. Earlier in the day she had used a phrase when describing the aim of what the Centre is about:

'The whole gospel for the whole person.'

Like it! Haven't been able to get it out of my head for the past couple of days. Think she's onto something really significant, possibly more than she realises.

Got me to thinking ...

Recently have been taken with empire and kingdoms and values and peacemaking and reconcilation and how to put myself where God wants me to be and counting the cost and ... well, you get the idea, a whole lot of things (only some of which are mentioned here).

The key may just be the whole gospel for the whole person. I mean, for me, as well as for others. That's what Jesus was all about right ... He was the whole gospel for the whole person!!!



Reading this at the moment cause it 'feeds my lenses.' Not all that far into it, but today was reading the chapter about Jesus and the powers (Chapt. 3). In it Campbell was talking about the different ways in which Jesus both engaged the powers and offered the alternative. He writes:
As Walter Wink has noted, Jesus' entire ministry challenges the powers, and the gospel itself is "a context-specific remedy for the evils of the Domination System." (Pg. 44)

The gospel itself is a context-specific remedy for the evils of the Domination System. In other words the gospel may work and look different in different contexts, but it always brings life instead of death ... more than that, it brings life in the face of death.

Thats what Jesus was doing when He raised Jarius daughter. That's what Jesus was doing when the bleeding woman touched Him. That's what He was doing as He critiqued the religious leaders. That's what Jesus was doing when He healed the demonaic. That's what He was doing most of all in His death and resurrection. Bringing life to what was dead, inviting people into the alternative. Though, perhaps its not so much of an alternative as we think, but more an invitation into the way things should have been ... after all God created things good and life-full first.

Jesus is the gospel, and as Christians we carry it. We take it's message and tell anyone and everyone who will listen. It may take on different shapes depending on the context, but its always about Jesus.

If it's always about Jesus, then perhaps its not as scary after all. Though it involves a death to self (and that is still a hard and constant battle - for me at least), it involves rising into a new life. An old friend was reflecting today on where our security lies, the fears we have, and how perfect love drives out all fear. I believe this is true, therefore I need not fear what this radical discipleship shall 'cost' me, nor where it will place me. Jesus was always with people bringing hope where before there had been none, and He calls to His follwers to do the same. Remaining secure in Him radical discipleship will involve putting my behind where God is already at work and trusting Him for what will happen when there. Putting my behind to where I deem there to be hope, and it seems to me that Jesus found that everywhere ... especially among 'the least, the last and the lost.' The call to radical discipleship is the call to be involved in bringing the whole gospel to the whole person ... and experiencing it yourself as you go.

Margaret is right to get excited about that!

Does weather match mood?

Why is it always a horrible, rainy night when we have a church business meeting on?

Just a question and observation!

Challenge (part 1) ...

Aside from feeling frustrated, am also living in a place of extreme challenge at the moment. In our creative homiletics class today we had a fantastic discussion (which I'll most likely blog on once my thoughts have gathered and cleared some more), but one of the students hit the nail on the head for me when reflecting on how far he is willing to be present with people etc. For example, he said, what if while out on the street last week he had struck up a conversation with someone. After getting through some superficial conversation what if she had opened up to him and told him she was suffering from domestic abuse(not too far fetched ... they told me on myfirst mission while doing child protection stuff that I was utterly unlikely to face any situation like that - not so!). What would he have done? Say "oh I'm sorry to hear that"? Take her somewhere she could be safe? Take her in himself? What would he have done?

This is my kind of challenge and frustration at the moment. Another student and I were talking and I was sharing that I feel like I'm caught in this internal battle a lot of the time. I read what the Scriptures say, I begin to unpack what it means, I devour all this stuff about radical discipleship ... and my head, heart, the whole lot of me screams 'Amen, that's what I want to be.' I sense God's call within all of that ... and then the 'flesh' part of me kicks in again. How radical am I willing to be? How present am I willing to be? Am I prepared to pay the cost? And that's when all the other part of me screams 'No!' And so there is this internal struggle going on ...

I can not remain 'safe' and 'comfortable', for that is not how a Christian is called to live. A Chrsitian is called to follow after Christ, which may be an adventure, but is certainly not a safe, comfortable or tame adventure. I am a Christian and my desire is to own the name of Christ more, to more fully submitted to His rule. Yet those very ideas and all they contain scare the living daylights out of me. What if I am called to live among the poorest of the poor? What if I am to protest in the streets? What if I am to land in jail? What if this is what it means for me, personally to be fully submitted to the rule of Christ?

When talking about the Sermon on the Mount Dietrich Bonhoeffer says that when it is embodied it is a sign of the visible church. That is what we are to be, a visible church. Visibly putting ourselves in the places where good news and gospel need to be proclaimed and lived out ... embodied Christian ethical living in essence. Does how I live mark me out as being part of the visible church?

Am I willing to pay the cost? Am I willing to bear the consequences of not paying it? We explored Romans 12:1-2 today a little. Mercy ... sacrifice ... just some of the images present. The only problem with a living sacrifice is that it has a tendancy to crawl off the alter ... or at least this one name Mo does.

Therein lies the challenge ...

Frustrated ...

Its now gone 11, I'm tired, got a headache and am slightly grouchy ... but only slightly. Have done nothing but stare at a computer screen for hours the past two nights while trying to write a class conference paper on the beatitudes (Matt. 5:3-12). Embodied radical discipleship ... the eschatalogical tension in living in the now-and-not yet of the Kingdom of God (yes I know Matthew says heaven!) ... what does it mean to be a peacemaker ... what does blessing (makarios) actually refer to ... what about justice and righteousness, meekness and mercy ...

Love it ... there's so much good stuff there ... great red letter stuff (Shane Claiborne) ...

Yet in doing that I have missed a planning meeting concerning social justice and acts of kindness being organised within YF (basically how we can model for the young people and help them live out embodied beatitudes around East Kilbride) ...

I have also missed a worship practice (which I would probably have had to miss on account of the meeting anyway) as well as cell group (space where discipleship is discussed and developed).

Frustrated ... yes I am!!!!!!!!!!!

However, such is the balance of trying to study and have a life beyond books and computer screens, as was pointed out to me today by another student in the preaching lab ...

'Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out.'
Ecclesiastes 12:12 (b)

Frustrated ... worn out ... I head to bed ...

What constitutes a good or bad movie?

Went to see the film The Women with some friends tonight. The idea was to go out as girlies and just see a chick flick. Two hours later my mind was definately numbed, but it was followed up by a conversation about what makes a film good or bad. Tastes are different, that's for sure. For example one of my friends enjoyed the fim simply because she hates chick flicks and got to make fun of it. Another liked it just because of who was in it, while another was undecided as it seemed to jump genres a lot ... comedy ... to rom com ... to just plain over acting!

Chick flicks, in my opinion, are fantastic. I love them! It always seems to work out in the end which I really like, the girl always gets the guy, friends make up, families truce and find common ground ... the sky is blue and there isn't a cloud in sight. For the hour and a half they run you can loose yourself in a story bigger than yourself where 'reality' doesn't really exist.

That's all well and good, but while my friends were discussing our thoughts and planning our next girls night in (I just got the Sex and the City movie!), a strange question popped into my head. In creative homeletics we're looking at a book called the Four Codes of Preaching by John McClure which takes four codes that are present within our sermon communication and breaks them down to see what kind of intertext we're sponsoring.

The book is quite complicated and not written in easily accessable English and so I spent some of this afternoon in conversation with a couple of the others in the class breaking down the basic ideas, trying to make things a little clearer.

The question that popped into my head tonight as we talked about chick flicks, having just come out of a not particularly good one was this ... what intertext was it sponsoring? And is that intertext as good as I would like to think? And what does what I watch say about me? While I know films are different to sermons, 'codes' (albeit maybe different ones) are at work potentially (depending on how you want to look at it), and so the questions were sparked off in my mind.

I really need to stop thinking so much ... my brain hurts and I just can't keep up ... plus would be nice to just watch a film once in a while without it leading to either "oh, I could use that scene" or an over analysis of what is going on. Still, the intertext question was there in my thinking ...

Will we go ...

Prayers in college this morning was led by not only reading the Bible (always good!) but by allowing us to reflect on both art and poetry. We were told of the work of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo who at one time had a style that was slightly unusual. One of her paintings is called Diego On My Mind and is a self portrait which also includes the face of her husband on her forehead. The idea is that what is central in her mind and takes up much of her mind 'appears' on her forehead. The challenge was what John saw in Jesus when he exclaimed 'Lamb of God!' in John 1. Maybe he saw a picture of a lamb on Jesus forehead? But it made me think, what would be the picture in the middle of my forehead? Would it be Jesus? Or would it be something else? If others were to look at me and place in the middle of my forehead that which they think occupies my mind, what would they see?

Equally am I prepared to be where people will see through me at all? Prayers was finished with a poem that I do not know the origion of - only that the person reading it recieved it from an older person, in their church I think. It connected not only to prayer, but also to some of my reflecting on yesterday and what it means at times to be here and present. With the poem I end this post and leave its challenge to 'hang in the air' ...

I said, "Let me walk in the fields."
He said, "Nay, walk in the town."
I said, "There are no flowers there."
He said, "No flowers but a crown."

I said, "But the sky is black,
There is nothing but noise and din."
But He wept as He sent me back,
"There is more," He said, "there is sin."

I said, "But the air is thick,
And the fogs are veiling the sun."
He answered, "Yet hearts are sick,
And souls in the dark undone."

I said, "I shall miss the light,
And friends will want me, they say."
He answered me, "Choose tonight,
If I am to miss you, or they."

I cast one look at the fields,
Then set my face to the town.
He said, "My child, do you yield?
Will you leave the flowers for the crown?"

Then into His hand went mine,
And into my heart came He,
And I walk in a light divine
The path that I feared to see.

Principalities, powers and potential in Glasgow ...

Ok, so was out 'playing' today and was so much less intense than I thought it would be ... in many senses it was much 'safer' and less risky than I had imagined. There was much less of the reading aloud Scripture than I thought there would be and comfort zones were maintained. Yet that did not make it unchallenging.

First were two different spiritual exercises - being fully present and attentive among people and then identifying and discerning any principalities and powers that may be at work. I remember when I lived in Stokesley one of my favourite activities was having my daily latte (ususally hazelnut) and people watching. Sitting in one of the window bars I would watch people as they passed trying to guess their emotions and stories as they passed by, judged just on what I could discern from the way they were dressed, the way they walked, the expressions on their faces and what, if any, contact they had with others around. Today's exercise was similar in many ways, though it surprised me to learn that I found it much easier to be present while being still than while moving. While I walked or rather sauntered it was much easier to be distracted, and in a sense I became a part of that which I was trying to observe and be aware of rather than being present in any of objective yet empathetic sense.

It came as no surprise however that most people were not smiling in the slightest and actually most communication happened electronically (despite lots of background noise!) with many people on the phone or with headphones on. Even those people that were 'together' did not appear present to one another. Take for example a couple I saw walking and holding hands. Neither seemed happy in any sense and actually neither seemed to even be aware of the other at all, desite having the physical contact of holding hands. Later this contrasted even more with a couple who were also holding hands but were 'present' with each other and aware of each other, as well as an elderly couple of women huddled together, holding one another up almost.

There was an overwhelming sense of hopelessness amongst the people. A tiredness, drearyness, distant disconnectedness. No one made eye contact with anyone else, and no one smiled at any one. Each was totally caught up in their own world, passing many other people by totally unaware of them. Unaware of the girl that looked as though she had been crying and was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Unaware of the small gentleman selling the Big Issue outside two of the biggest companies around ... Starbucks and Apple. Visible yet invisible. Present but not 'present'.

It saddened me. It challenged me. After all, how do I respond to that? How can I be good news amidst such seeming 'bad news'? And what shape does that good news take? Actually, while its about me its also not about me, its about 'us' ... the church, the community of God's people (specifically those of us called to 'ministry' this morning). How do we respond? Do we 'see', are we 'present' and aware? How can we be good news to these people in these places?

After dsicussing the first exercise we went back through the street observing / discerning the principalities and powers at work and in competition for people and amongst people in the street. For me the most immediate one was the demon of conformaty. People in their search for belonging have become homogenous - from where they shop, to what they buy, to how they look. The structure of the shops, from their archetecture to their products and everything in between add to the demons, embody the demons and feed the lies. The thing is, most of the time, actually people don't feel more connected or that they belong in any more of a real sense. In fact this principality often feeds into others. The obvious demon of consumerism was present, as were the more subtle ones of domination, isolation and many more all setting themselves up as the antithesis of what they actually are - false gods. In fact the imagery, language and symoblism used reflected something of these religious overtones as the false gods lure people into their false worship. Someone reflected that the street for many represents their place of worship and the products their new gospel ... and though many would not explicitly name it as such, I can't help but agree in some measure.

And yet ...

There were little pockets of hope ...

The Help the Aged people, the Care people ... all with good causes that aid rather than hinder humanity and creation. Though the people representing were most definately recieting speels, still there was hope. People were verbally claiming some of that 'contested space' for good ...

Another class mate reflected that we are quick to point out all the negative aspects of what we sense in these spaces, yet we buy into them none the less, as do many of the people we minister amongst. And therein lies the challenge, for me at least.

Sitting on the steps of a closed down bank we did a kind of Bible study / how would you preach thing based on Luke 12:22-34. Much was discussed, there were many challenges and observations made ... some more heatedly than others it has to be said. Yet what struck me the most was this simple verse:
Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.
(Luke 12:32)

Maybe empire is an unhelpful term at times. Perhaps kingdom would be better. There are two kingdoms - that of darkness and that of light. It is impossible to be of both. You are either one or the other, for darkness and light cannot co-exist ... light drives out darkness. It has pleased the Father to place in believers the kingdom of light. Our challenge is to live and embody that kingdom in the here and now, being aware that it will not fully be realised until the time to come - called to be Kingdom of Heaven people living with the great eschatelogical tension.

Does that mean we remove ourselves entirely from the kingdom of darkness. No. But it does mean we model the alternative Kingdom of Light in the darkness. We live out the Kingdom values amid the kingdom (empire) and draw others to Jesus, the one who places this new Kingdom within them as He calls them to follow Him.

There was much debate today about how we do that ... and today will not in any way, shape or form have ended our debate. What the meaning of becoming poor is, what it means to be good stewards, all of that will continue to be talked about. At the end of the day though none of the talking does any good until it takes on some form of action.

For me that will mean total dependence on God, being a peacemaker in the truest sense, sharing and being good news, viewing people as made in the image of God with great potential, and calling people to an alternative way of life than that which the kingdom of darkness calls acceptable and desirable, all the while seeking to live out that Kingdom as best I can. Ezekiel was called and commissioned, as was read to us at the start of the day, to proclaim what the Sovereign Lord says (Ezekiel 2) ... and then later the Soverign Lord showed him that dry bones can live again and that the word of the Lord causes them to rise up again (Ezekiel 37). It may be one of my favourite passages, and there may be many different interpretations ... but maybe, just maybe, some of the dry bones that I saw walking around Glasgow today could live again if they just heard the Word of the Lord ...