Well, arrived at church last night to be greeted by someone with a 'word' for me. They shared it and God definately spoke in that moment. Just what I had been praying for and not sure of God confirmed in just one word. Was such amazing assurance for me, and a blessing for the person to know that it did in deed make sense to me, and that God was nurturing the prophetic gifting in them.
And so the word / challenge God had laid on my heart through Micah was shared last night. Afterwards many came up and said that I had "done a great job." And I wanted to yell, "what, I did a great job?!" That was so not what I wanted to hear. I did not want to hear I'd done a great job, just because I was one of their own as if it were some form of performance (which, no exaggeration, is how it sounded somewhat). What I wanted to hear was that they had sensed God's voice and heard His challenge. What I wanted to hear was that something in their actions would confirm this challenge being heard and acted upon. What I wanted to hear was a recognition that the walk with God required acting justly and loving mercy in concrete rather than arms length abstract terms. What I wanted in a sense was for the community to stand together and say "amen, lets live this way."
I got none of that, but that doesn't mean none of that is present. I spoke what I felt led to by God, and so now I trust that God by His Spirit spoke into hearts and is somehow, somewhere at work in it all.
On a more personal note for me, I realised how terrified I am of our little 'Act of Kindness' project last night as Morag, Jo and Fiona led YF, talking about their work on the streets. Apprehensive about the people we'll meet, the conversations we'll have, the impact it'll have. I shared with Jo later how scared I am ... but at the same time how I know I need to give it a go. God loves all people, and so must I. Or sermons just become trite words, discussions puffed up hot air, and the Spirit's uttering that I sense are never put into practice. Justice becomes held up as some form of abstract concept again, like it has for so long, rather than something dynamic that is participatory and becomes concrete through action. I may not be 'called to the streets' in the same way as others, but how am I to know if I do not try. What I do know is that I am called to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God. Therefore I need to engage in the Act of Kindness project, allowing the Spirit to do in me whatever He wills, encouraging others to do the same, and see where this crazy ride takes us. For some this may not be a big deal ... but for me this seems a much bigger deal 'in my flesh' than choosing how I shop for example. But if the Spirit keeps sending us the same message over and over again then He's definately up to something, and I want to be part of that something, even if with fear and trembling ...
3 comments:
Why not just read out the Sermon on the Mount, the "woes", and then give people five examples of things they could do to help avoid being goats? Less you, more Word of God. Also giving folk several options means they have less "that's not really me" wiggle room, and giving them concrete ones gives indolence and the devil less opportunity to distract them from ever getting round to deciding what to do and then how to go about it - they can have a concrete resolution before you've even finished speaking.
Sorry if I've totally missed the point!
(found your blog a while back while randomly surfing, hence random comment)
Thanks for your comments. My rant was more about the fact that in preaching on 'home turf' if you like sometimes the message gets lost because its me thats preaching it. They know me, they've watched me grow up, they see how God is leading me ... but somewhere in all that I could be preaching whatever I like and they might not always see beyond me to the words of God, no matter what I preach. I'm their baby, and so the words "you did a good job" while affirming me, also show that somehow they possibly did not see beyond me. Does that make any sense?
Glad you found my blog though ... continue reading and commenting!
I thought about this. Presumably it just reflects the concerns which surface in the relationships of you and your friends; what you talk about and how you talk about it. And how yous think/talk about preaching most of the time.
If your conversations had been about being nervous or not, how would it go, etc, then that is naturally what they would be thinking of. Whereas if in your conversations preaching was only an unconsidered tool, and the chief subject of conversation were the things you had hoped your sermon would bring your friends to consider, then that is what they would have been listening for.
something a friend said on the phone on Sunday reminded me of this, hence the comment. What Our Lord says - where your treasure is, etc - but where our attention is most of the time both reflects where our heart is and affects where our heart is. We can influence where our attention is, and thus come to love what we ought to love.
People you know don't think of you as a preacher, they think of you as a student/friend. So they will treat what you do in those categories. Mostly those sort of relationships very easily move their focus away from Christ. Mostly naturally, and this is because rarely are both parties focused firstly on Christ.
Oh dear, I don't think I am making much sense. Well, if that makes any sense, i hope it's of some use. If not, I apologise for cluttering your combox.
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