Reflections on my time at Hand of Friendship

This is quite an honest and frank post, but about stuff thats been on my mind this week. Because of that I hope that those reading are able to read it recognising the honesty and vulnerability that is contained in it.

Have been doing some reflecting this week on the group Hand of Friendship that I have been going to while on placement, where everyone is welcome and has a place.

Being there has also forced me to face some of my own prejudice. Well, I’m not sure prejudice is the right word, perhaps fears and misconceptions would be better. While I totally believe in diversity within the community of faith, that the church should be a place where all people are accepted, in reality that often means I spent time with people who are ‘like me.’ Or pretty much like me. The church I am in normally, and many of the churches I have worked in or visited, do not have many people with special needs in them. I'm actually not to sure I like this, as it makes me question what it says about us and this is deeply challenging. Personally this means that, unconsciously almost, I had developed a fear of sorts. In all honesty I was not sure how to respond to people with special needs, not always sure of how to communicate, and while never being faced with oppertunities of this sort it went unaddressed ... not something I am too proud to admit really, not my greatest confession thats for sure. Until I came to KCC.

The first night I was so nervous but the first couple of girls in put me at ease, mainly because they just wanted to chat about ‘normal’ things like music and Christmas. As more and more people came in I realised that actually it’s not as hard as I thought to communicate in situations like this. It simply requires me to be me, allow others to be them, and to view each person as an individual of value. Thinking about that it seems so simple and I can’t understand why I didn’t get it before, but I’m glad I do now.

Though I may not agree with his choice of terminology in his book, I understand what Stanley Hauerwas means when he writes this about how folks different to us give us insights into how community can be enhanced and enriched as they
force us to recognize that we are involved in a community life that is richer than out official explanations and theories give us the skill to say. (p.g 213)
He goes on to talk about the richness that people with special needs bring to community rather than just being those that are seen to take from community or have nothing to input. That has been my experience through Hand of Friendship.

Through Hand of Friendship I am learning to value people, seeing through God's eyes and in the process I am discovering more about who I am. God is a creative God, present in the most unexpected places, and I am finding God in the faces and people at Hand of Friendship – through the clients, the helpers and the carers. 'The other' (the term banded about a lot at the moment to describe anyone not me) is not someone to be feared but embraced, valued and loved in the same way I love self and God.

There are not any verses as far as I can see specifically about people with learning difficulties or God’s thoughts on this. (If I'm wrong please hightlight them to me!) However, there are many about how much God loves the people whom God created, how Jesus died for all, about how Jesus is for all, and how all can be in relationship with God. People with special needs or learning difficulties may understand things differently, at times more profoundly I sometimes think (though in truth don't we all understand things differently to one another eh!), but they are most definitely included in that ‘all’ rather than excluded. For me, and the Christian community at large, to view them differently than that, or as less than being included in that all, denies both their personhood, God’s creation and God’s plans and purposes. This is quite a sobering thought, when confronted with my unconscious prejudice and fear.

Moving towards this understanding is deeper than simply a warm, fuzzy feeling, but a growing sense of the love God has for all people. The more that moves me, the more I am moved to be and share with people. This I think is what it means for some of my theories and theological ideas about community engagement, involvement and the faith community in general to have flesh put on the bones. It is no longer simply ideas but actions.
If we are to be a good community we must be one that has convictions substantive enough not to fear our differences and, indeed, to see that we would not be whole without the other being different than us. (p.g. 214)
As I learn to communicate in new ways, in new situations, I am also learning what it takes to develop and maintain community, good community. Community embracing diversity but still held in unity.