Just before I go to bed I must remember to put this here. Checked out Jeff's blog today, just to see if he was posting again. He is, finally!!! And as ever his journal was a massive encouragement and blessing. But something he shared about reading the encounter with Jesus and Peter (when Jesus asks him if he loves Him three times) really struck me and did for me just what it did for Jeff. Love looking at Greek and Hebrew words to really discover the true meaning of things, people just laugh at me for it normally ... but this is one place I've never thought to check out before.
Peter tells Jesus he'll always love him, never desert or deny Him etc. Right after that He does. John 21v15-17 picks up the story after Jesus is risen again, appears to some of the disciples as their fishing and ends up having breakfast with them. Jesus then asks Peter three times if he loves him (in my head Jesus has taken Peter off to the side and the two of them are alone and intimate). In my translation (as in most) Jesus question three times is "Do you love me?" Each time Peter pretty much responds with "Yes, Lord, You know that I do." Three times the question is asked, more than likely (as most people conclude) because Peter denied Jesus three times. Pretty straight forward eh? Not so, as Jeff discovered...
'but... thats not a great translation.
try this.
Jesus: Peter do you totally love me. totally?
Peter: You know I am fond of you.
Jesus: Peter, Do you totally love me?
Peter: You know I am fond of you.
Jesus: Peter, are you fond of me?
Peter: Jesus, you know everything, you know that I am.
now that to me is completely different.
so how did i get there?
In greek there are several different words that into english are translated "love"
"Eros" - sexual love
"Agape" - total sacraficial love
"Phileo" - friendship/fond of type of love
and there are others.
Jesus asks peter the first two times if he "agape" loves him,
and peter replys that he "phileo" loves him.
then the third time Jesus asks whether peter "phileo" loves him. and Peter can reply yes.
This is the man who said that he would never never leave,
now being so humble, that he can only say he "phileo" loves Jesus.
and Jesus says thats ok,
and still commissions Peter to be the rock of his church.
that is mind blowing.
Peter can't even say that he totally and utterly loves Jesus.
He can't say "I will never leave you, or desert you"
He can't say "no matter what comes, what pain i feel, I'm yours"
All he can say is, "You're my friend. You know my heart, probably than I do, you knew it better than me last time."
I think Peter says "you tell me to feed your sheep, but you knew last time i let you down, and you know whether I'll let you down again, i don't trust my heart all i can say is that I am your friend. "
Wow wow wow.'
Jeff, hope you don't mind me nicking this to post here, but it totally blew my mind too. Sometimes I beat myself up because I fail God all the time. I want to be sold out for Him to the extent where I will do anything, go anywhere etc. I want to love Him that much - the agape kinda love. But I'm me, and I fail all the time. And then I get discouraged, either feeling so bad and living under guilt, or starting to believe that God can't use an idiot like me, I'll just disappoint and let Him down. Yes, more than likely I will fail, but this shows me that that's ok. God doesn't expect me to be perfect, but rather come to Him as I am, whatever state that is, and He'll accept me and use me anyway. There is hope! He loves me with agape love, and will help me on my journey to love Him in the same way!!!
Thank you Jeff for the post, and thank you Jesus for the insight You've given!
Now, I really must go to bed!!!
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