Have spent most of this afternoon trying to get to grips with college stuff! Ahh, getting very close to a panic attack ... beginning to re-think the whole thing ... maybe God got it wrong?!?
Ok, so maybe not! But it's tougher than I thought. Looked at my college timetable, which I could kinda almost make sense of. The fees e-mail made too much sense (surely there are too many digits in the fees bit!), and the college calander was just full of scary dates! Tim assured me that though the course would be hard, the break down of it on-line was easy to understand - are we going to the same college?! Printed off the module break-downs to get my head around later ... like when I have a dictionary by my side!
The whole thing is just getting more real every day. Tim was talking about his exams last week, as he and Jim had a little ethics discussion - all the while rattling off titles of books I really should read before I go. Ian was commenting on my note taking during sermons and how useful that will be in college, as well as scaring me with the gravity of what I'm undertaking.
I guess when I sensed this really was where God was leading me at the moment I didn't fully get it. I'm going to be studying for four years! This will be my life until 2010! I'll be 25, almost 26 when I finally graduate! And I'll be living at home, most probably for the majority, if not all of that time!!!
Kinda gotten used to only thinking about life from year to year. That's all I really had to do with YFC. Everything was constantly changing, I was constantly on the move. Been dying to finally lay some roots, but my mentality is still stuck in the 'it's the end of a year, I should be moving on' process, not quite ready for the 'I'm staying here, and about to start a four year thing' shift in thought.
And then try and work out finances! Been to the bank this week to change to a student account. Thankfully that was simpler than I thought, and has actually been the simplist thing so far about the whole college process! It's a maze of papers and guidelines and requirements. If I was just going to a 'normal' uni it would be so much more straight forward - but when has that ever been the case with me. E-mailed off the SAAS to see what I need to do and how exactly I need to do it. Discovered the deadline for funding applications is in a month - and I'm still trying to get my head around what exactly happens with course fees, student loans ... ahhh, my head hurts!!!
But I know this is what I'm being called to, and so will get through it. God wouldn't call me to something and then abandon me in it, which means that one way or another I'll get the finances sorted and my head around everything. End of May and June just crept up a little sooner than I was planning on!
Rant over!!!
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